I ask dozens of questions every day. As a consultant, as a manager, and because it’s my nature.
ONE indicator surpasses all others in telling me I’m on the right path:
TENSION.
Why and how can creating tension help solve the right problems?
First, not everyone actually wants to solve the real problem:
> It’s easier to respond to the request as it was formulated.
> It’s harder to challenge the framing behind it.
> Challenging the obvious can feel risky: you may appear confrontational
> You may make someone uncomfortable
> You may uncover issues nobody wants to address
But if both sides are genuinely willing to solve the right problem, tension often appears quickly.
Why?
Because the real problems are rarely technical.
They are usually human:
> Organizations that are not working properly
> Collaborations that are dysfunctioning
> Unclear roles & responsibilities
> Misaligned incentives
> Lack of courage in decision making
> Difficult conversations avoided
When you start asking “why”, you often get closer to these topics.
And that creates tension.
How do you identify tension?
– Silence, a longer pause before answering
– Hesitation, not knowing what to answer
– Less direct answers
– Complex justifications
– Asking somebody else to answer
– Admittance with an excuse: “yes, but we have to live with it…”
THAT moment is precious: it means the conversation is about to change, and the real conversation is about to start.
You’re no longer discussing the symptom — you’re getting closer to the cause.
Tension is not something to avoid: It is a compass, showing where potential value lies… Because when there is tension, there is a solution waiting to be found.